If you are reading this you have probably considered therapy at some point and may be interested in learning more about it. It is completely normal to be hesitant and wonder if therapy is right for you. You may be thinking I should only need therapy if something is seriously wrong or if I have a clear diagnosis. Or, you may be thinking that you want to try therapy but are unsure if it will help. No matter what you are thinking, your thoughts and concerns are valid. Hopefully this blog post can help sort your thoughts about therapy and help you in your decision process!
Who should come to therapy?
In my opinion, everyone should go to therapy! Life is hard. We should all have a safe place to feel heard, validated, and understood. Even if you think nothing is going on in your life, having a safe place in therapy can help you discover things about yourself that you did not even know existed. Discovering new things is not always easy but it’s usually beneficial. Just like we go to the doctor for check-ins, we should all go to therapy for check-ins even when we feel perfectly fine. It’s great to work on preventing mental health issues rather than waiting until things are unbearable. If things are feeling unbearable then it is definitely time to seek help.
What is therapy like?
Therapy will vary based on your therapist so finding the right fit is important. Typically in traditional talk therapy, the role of the therapist is to listen to your concerns, understand your goals, and come up with a treatment plan to help you reach your goals. Some therapists are more direct while some are more collaborative. It can be important to ask potential therapists what their approach to therapy is and how this helps this create change. I am a collaborative therapist which means I love client feedback and for clients to be as involved in their treatment plan as I am. This looks like making sure my clients help me create their treatment plans based on clear goals that are set. Overall, my clients and I work as a team in the therapy room where we are doing equal amounts of work.
Therapy will also look different based on what you are coming in for and what type of model of therapy the therapist choses to utilize. It is important to ask potential therapists if they have experience working with what you are coming in for and what their work may look like. For example, if you are wanting to work on trauma it is going to be important that your therapist has had training in trauma.
If you have a hard time expressing your emotions, this is okay. This does not mean that therapy is not right for you. In the beginning, therapy can be weird! You are opening up to a stranger about what brings you to therapy and about your life. Even the thought of doing that may make you cringe or feel uneasy. I recognize that in the first few sessions it may feel strange and there may be some reluctance to open up. This is when bringing in other methods can help. For example, finding a therapist who utilizes art therapy, music therapy, writing therapy, etc. can be helpful. Therapy does not have to involve consistent dialogue back and fourth, especially in the beginning. If this has been preventing you from starting therapy then I encourage finding a therapist who incorporates other methods.
How can therapy help?
Just talking to someone relieves stress. It’s hard leaving things inside and when we do this may lead us to blow up at some point. All of our emotions come spilling out at once which can be overwhelming, scary, and lead us to make unhealthy decisions. Further, having someone else hold space for you and sort through things is powerful. Therapists offer an unbiased perspective that is hard to receive elsewhere. Yes it can be weird talking to a stranger but it can also be what you need when it comes to reaching your goals. My own personal role as a therapist involves walking with you on your journey and helping you discover what’s already inside of you that can help move you forward. I do not offer advice or tell you what you should do. This is what we often get from friends and family because of their own personal biases towards us. This can cause us to eventually stop listening to ourselves and take other peoples perspective into account over our own. The good thing is that therapists are not your friends. We will not always tell you things that you want to hear and we will challenge you. This makes therapy hard work. Sometimes you will leave sessions feeling worse than when you came in. You may want to quit therapy. This is all a part of the process. Therapy is not easy but the results of sticking with it are usually worth it. Therapy is not guaranteed to solve all of your problems but good therapists are there to try and help you navigate life in a way that makes things easier. Even though ethically we cannot be your friends, we truly care about you and want the best for you.
How do I find a therapist?
I recommend making a list of therapists who appeal to you and scheduling 15 minute consultations with them. In these consultations therapists usually ask what you are looking to get out of therapy and general questions about you. Use this consultation to ask them questions as well – approach to therapy, how they create change, their experience in specific areas, etc. Then, book with the one you feel most comfortable with and who you feel more of a connection with. Once you pick a therapist it does not mean you have to stick with them forever. If you realize it is not a good fit then I would continue searching. If you’re comfortable, express this to your therapist and they may be able to refer you to someone who may be a better fit.
Websites to find a therapist in your area:
- https://www.psychologytoday.com/us
- https://therapyforblackgirls.com
- https://therapyforblackmen.org
- https://www.cliniciansofcolor.org/
- https://openpathcollective.org (offers affordable payment plans)
- https://www.therapyden.com